Life in a Metro

Life in a metropolitan city like Mumbai, Delhi, New York, London or Hong Kong, means a mad rush to survive and perform. Something that invariably makes most of us cold, ruthless, unemotional, selfish and aggressive. How does it happen. . .every aspect of life in a metro works to condition you that way. If you must travel, no matter who you are- there's a struggle. . .if you're driven,or you're driving, or commuting by trains or buses or even walking- its all an art you've got to master. Eventually, in a bid to condition ourselves to be able to live thru this mindless race and survive, we all change. Change, either to be people who become a part of this eco-system or change to find a place for ourselves much distinct from this maze.

Take some time off and look at your city in isolation, like an outsider. How much of it ever makes sense. We're all running, how many people out there have real objectives to live. There are people who spend decades doing monotonous and mindless things, not caring about satisfaction or quality. For them, not having an ambition is their ambition. Then there are others who keep running to survive and sustain, they dont know where growth or excellence will come from. They find ways to find highs in what they do, even if it means having to fool themselves to feel good- as long as it works for them. The complusions of EMI's for the home loans, car loans and other responsibilities makes that salary cheque at the end of the month a must.


There are many of them working for multi-national companies, this is a breed that i've been a part of, having interacted very closely with this proto-type. I remember this curious gentleman working for The Times of India Group for its popular brand- Bombay Times(BT). BT of course, needs no introduction to anyone who has anyone to do with India. He used to be the group head for BT in  one of Mumbai's suburban branches. Almost every time that he would meet an advertiser, there was an ad campaign that was ready to be offered to him- advertisers simply couldnt do without BT. Innovation, creativity, planning or strategy were non existent in him- of course he thought otherwise and would do everything possible to convince everyone in office, friends and family that he was doing something no one else could. When he'd get back to office after getting an ad campaign deal, you couldnt miss the never ending smile and pride on his face and his pompous walk. Of course he'd have a long story to tell on how it would've never happened without him. For him, he'd started thinking that he was BT himself. If you would've met him for the first time, his indentity was incomplete unless he'd told you what brand he worked for. Even if he didnt speak too much, he'd definately ensure you know he was one of the people helping Jains run the Times Group. There are so many of them who dont know who they are and what can do, but derive their identity from the companies or brands that they work for. You take that brand out of them and they'd have to struggle to find their identity.

Then there are the sensible and real intelligent lot. These guys made it to the top brass, either as owners of their own enterprise or as top management executives in the corporations they work for. Most married to sensible, good-looking, sophisticated and accomplished partners. Most of these men or women fall prey to infidelity, in some form or the other sooner or later. For some, its a way of life so it doesnt cause any guilt. Where does this start, when they stop relating to their partners or their partners dont have time for them. I met one such woman-beautiful, super rich and owner of a prosperous business. She's mother to 2 beautiful kids and loves her husband, who's also her business partner. They own a premier travel company and reside in one of the plush duplexes in South Mumbai. Each of them travel atleast 10 days every month. This woman is perfectly fine with the idea of adultery, for her its just sex that her husband doesnt have time for. So she does have a lot of these toy boys, some who travel with her on some of her trips while some are in the city. Am sure the husband must have his own form of entertainment. Where is good 'ol love, the way it was meant to be. I know many who have such comfortable relationships with office colleagues or friends, for some it means getting the excitement and adventure that they dont get anymore in their relationships elsewhere, because they never had time. For some, its just simple, plain, unadultered, guilt-free fun.

Effectively, there a specific way that your relation is certainly bound to end up in a metro;
(1) You always do what it takes for family and ensure you make time for them every week. An investment that avoids any trouble in your paradise. No form of adultery for you or your partner, you bring up kids in the best way possible. The ideal happy family.

(2) Two people who dont communicate consistently stop relating to each other at some point. They get divorced sooner or later. If they still choose to stay in that relation, its either supremely compromised or for the sake of kids.

(3) You married the perfect partner and the love was great. In time, you try your best, but dont find time thanks to career commitments. One day you realise you're into a situation you never imagined. Adultery, for you or your partner. Why, you never had time and helped created a gap and couldnt fill it in for too long. Some one else did.

(4) Two people who love each other, have great kids and no time for each other. If they do have time for each other, they dont communicate and invest time to build a foundation. Result, they're happy to have partners outside their marriage while they continue to stay in their relationship. Sounds absurd, but this is a format thats gaining popularity.

Kids find their own ways to grow up. Parents didnt have the slightest idea bringing them up would end up being so challenging. Your kid turns out fine, then you've definately worked towards it and you're lucky. Else, you're stuck with another long list of problems.

In a city like Mumbai, not every one can marry and even fewer people can have kids. There are a whole bunch of parameters you've got to achieve before you get anywhere near it. Its getting tougher as i write this.

You know it when you're in a metro when you find many 20 something blood pressure patients, fruits and veggies with little nutrition thanks to those chemical fertilisers, almost everyone you know's on a diet- very few of them actually losing weight, no place to park and hours to drive, you find diet khakras, diet tiffins and diet coke and organic food, almost all youth smoke, television entertainment moving towards voyeurism is more popular.

Then there are so many fitness classes, yoga instructors, community groups prayer meetings, baba ramdevs and so many other babas- all with their distinct USPs and followers, full blown channels to propagate spiritualism.

What are we headed into. where are the simple joys of living. Where is pure, unadultered love and real relationships. Will it get worse. For now, i dont have any answers but i do hope and wish it all changes for the better and life goes back to its original, simple and splendid form.